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As I continue to settle into the news that our Adopting Family is going to have a baby, certain questions pop up in my head that I hadn’t given thought to before.  One that really caught me off guard occurred when I was asked how many children I had, whilst in a small, group setting.  Normally I would say “three” without any pause for thought and move on with the conversation.  However, that question made me pause for quite a while and I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights to those sitting around me.  I eventually blurted out “three”, but began to feel my body overtaken by emotion.  Thankfully, without anyone noticing, I was able to shed a few tears, as the focus was taken off me and next person in our circle was asked the same thing.  It was an intense moment that caught me off guard and the best way to describe it was “Emotional Ambush.”  It’s an unexpected moment when intense feelings overtake you and you find yourself unable to control your reaction. 

There was certainly no warning or particular reason for me to be overcome with emotion, over a question that I had never had a problem answering before.  However, something in my mind figured out that there’s a new equation to factor in when asked that question…….and WHAMMY - it caused a reaction I had not anticipated and came out of no where.

It made me pause and think about my previous children that I’ve lost and are now safely in the arms of Jesus and it obviously made me think about Todd and Jen’s baby.  I’m human and a Mom; how could I not think about this at some point in our journey?

I don’t bring this up, because of a self-serving part of myself,  but because it’s an honest thing you think about as a Genetic Parent.  I know that if I’m thinking about it, some of you have too.

Blessings,

Sheila

No matter what route you’re going -  either to place your embryos for adoption or adopt your embryos, the contract that contains all the particulars of your agreement should be well thought out and looked over by professionals.  If you found a family on your own, make sure you have a Third Party Reproduction Attorney write up your contract or look it over.  The extra money spent to have someone review it with experience in this field is priceless.  Actually, I think it’s a good idea to have a Third Party Reproduction Attorney look over your contract, no matter if your placing your embryos with an agency or clinic.  You may find that you haven’t thought through all the particulars and now is the time to make sure you’re certain about your decision.

If you’re placing your embryos for adoption, you may feel like you can’t speak up and request that certain things be put into place.  For instance, if you feel strongly that you’d like all the embryos transferred within so many years (so the process doesn’t drag on forever), then you need to speak up and make sure that language is written into the contract.  If you feel strongly that you don’t want the Adopting Family to destroy any left over embryos after they’ve finished building their family, and would rather they be returned to you; once again, make sure that’s detailed in your contract.

I’ve heard a lot of different stories from many of you and I can’t stress enough that you need to protect yourself and your interests and make sure that if certain conditions are important to you, that they be addressed during the contract process.  In my own opinion, this isn’t a time to be shy and unsure if certain parts of your agreement should be voiced.  This is the time to speak up and ask questions that you may not be sure of.  I don’t think either party should feel threatened about each others conditions or concerns.  They are things that can be negotiated and worked out in a diplomatic way.  I would encourage you to have empathy for each other and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  If you find that you can’t agree on the particulars, then you may want to explore whether or not this is the right arrangement for your family and each other.

I’m obviously not an attorney and can’t advise you as such, but do feel it’s important to make sure that you don’t have any regrets, once you sign on the dotted line.  You absolutely should not feel rushed to make a decision and you have every right to understand your agreement in terms you can easily understand.  If you feel uneasy about any part of this process, don’t hesitate to stop the process, until you do feel comfortable.

Under no circumstances should you walk away from this kind of arrangement feeling regrets.

Blessings,

Sheila

Hi all -

I’d like to expand the content of my blog and have decided to ask if any of you would be willing to be a Guest Author?  I’d be interested in Adopting Parents, Genetic Parents, staff from Adopting Agencies or Clinics; and really anyone who would like to share their unique point of view on Embryo Adoption/Donation, with the goal of supporting and educating those interested in this field.

If that’s you, shoot me an e-mail.

Blessings,

Sheila

We and our Adopting Family recently decided to temporarily cut communication with each other.  It was a hard, but emotionally necessary decision for us.  I shed a lot of tears yesterday over the decision.  Beau and I came to realize that it’s not the “norm” to be in such close contact with each other at this stage of the adoption and there’s a reason for that.  I think one (a Genetic Parent) would have to be super resilient to continue contact and take care of their own emotional well-being.  I, myself, don’t have whatever “it” takes to take care of my family, deal with my emotions surrounding the adoption, and support them during this process. 

I kept beating myself up over it and after talking it over with Beau, decided it’s okay to cut ties.  We know it’s not forever and when it feels right to all of us, I know we’ll be in contact again.

When we started this journey, it was important for us to meet and lay eyes on the Adopting Family.  We felt fortunate that we could start our journey at that point and never expected that the emotions would become so intense, that we would have to cut contact.  However, I would say the vast majority of Genetic and Adopting Families don’t meet for the first time, until well after a baby is born.  Looking back, I think that’s a very good and healthy thing. 

During the relinquishment process, (which I believe takes place in bits and pieces, up until months after a baby is born) I don’t think it’s emotionally possible for both parties to support each other.  There is a process going on that makes it so you’re at odds with each other.  Neither party should feel bad or guilty about how they are dealing with their part of the process.  The Adopting Family should feel happiness, joy, and excitement over the arrival of their baby without feeling guilty.  Also, the Genetic Family should fully grieve the loss of parenting that child without feeling guilty.

I think I would deal with it better if I had proper resources or support for what it is I’m experiencing, but sadly, in this day and age, it’s not available.  I’ve searched high and low and there’s none to be had.  My hope in journaling this difficult part of the journey is so that it may help someone else down the road. 

Final thoughts -

I think it’s okay to meet the Adopting Family and be in direct contact to complete the contract process, but then I would limit contact from there, until months after a baby is born.  An important process is going to take place during that time.  The Adopting Family will be bonding with their baby and experiencing all the joys that go with a pregnancy and the Genetic Family will be going through a relinquishment process.  I think it’s best to not have expectations of each other during that time.

I’ve heard of lots of families growing close, well after a baby is born.  I’m not sure what shifts or changes after that time, but it makes complete sense to me.

Blessings,

Sheila

I’ve received quite a few e-mails from fellow Genetic Parents and one of the most frequently asked questions I receive is ”How do I bring myself to place my embryos for adoption?”  That’s a valid question that I’d like to explore with you.

Some of you have requested paperwork from an Adoption Agency or Clinic or have considered placing an ad in hopes of finding a Recipient Family on your own.  Others haven’t been able to take those steps and decide to pay for another year of storage and put the process on the back-burner.  No matter where you’re at in the process, let me say that I fully understand what it is you’re going through and hope the following will bring clarity to what seems like an impossible decision, and possibly give a different perspective to help you make a decision that you feel you can live with. 

- One of the reasons that you may not have been able to do any research or make any phone calls, is because starting the process of relinquishing your embryos means that you’re beginning to “Let Go.”  I myself don’t fully understand this process yet, as I’m still in the midst of “letting go”, but looking back I can see that there was a pivitol moment where I was able to move forward.  I was able to at the very least visualize “letting go” and that’s when I was able to take the next step.  If you feel frozen with fear, this is normal.  After all, I don’t think any of us went into IVF thinking we’d eventually be put in the position of having to make these kind of decisions.

- Your embryos are in frozen storage and based on all the data I’ve seen, they are safe and not deteriorating.  I recently learned of a transfer with an embryo that had been frozen for 15 years.  So while I don’t recommend keeping embryos frozen for that long, I will say that you can take as much time as you need to make a decision.  You need not worry that the embryos are less viable with each passing year.  Our embryos were frozen for six years and our Adopting Mom is now pregnant.  So, take the pressure off yourself and realize you have some time to make a good decision.

- If storage fees play into a big part of your decsion, keep in mind that you can transfer your embryos into a long-term storage facility for a lesser fee than your clinic charges.  I myself never placed my embryos in long-term storage, so I have no experience with any of the organizations that provide this service.  However, you can look them up on Google or Yahoo, if you’re interested.

- Take baby steps and give yourself time to see how you feel about each one.  If you can’t seem to bring yourself to even request paperwork from an agency or look at an independent website to post an ad, that’s okay.  I think it’s important to take all the time you need.  Trust your instinct and if you come to the place where you think you can look at the paperwork, move forward with that baby step.  Just because you take one step, doesn’t mean you have to follow through in any given time frame. 

- Keep in mind that you may not feel comfortable moving forward with the process yet, because it’s not time or you may not be in a place to meet the Adopting Family yet.  I for one do believe that everyone comes into our life for a reason and feel that some of you may not be ready to make a decision, because it’s simply not the right time.  I met our Adopting Mom on an infertility support website.  I had comtemplated leaving that website on many different occasions, but felt drawn to stay for some reason.  I finally realized that had I left any earlier than I did, I would not have met our Adopting Mom.

-  Face your biggest fears about Embryo Adoption.  What are they?  Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to think about what you haven’t given yourself permission to do so before.  There’s no doubt about it, it’s tough to visualize our genetic children being raised by someone else.  However, it is a decision you can learn to live with and the outcome can become a beautiful thing.  Try not to allow sensationalistic stories play into your fears.  There are a lot of good people out in this world that would love and adore your genetic children, as if they were their own genetic children.  Heck, my Husband and I joke that our Adopting Family are better people than we are.  Of course, we’re kidding, but the point I’m trying to make is that there are good people out there who will make fantastic parents.

- Make a decision that you feel you can live with for the rest of your life.  Don’t have any regrets.  Fully research all your options and don’t be afraid to call the Adoption Agencies or be in contact with sites where you can place an ad.  I’ve heard many of you say “I’m afraid to call and ask.”  Just because you make a phone call, doesn’t mean you have to follow through with an adoption plan the next day.  Remember, you can take baby steps.

- Give yourself persmission to visualize what your ideal plan would look like for your embryos.  Can you see making an adoption plan for them or possibly donating them anonymously?  What would the best scenario look like for you and your family?  Do you want to have contact in the future or do you think it will be easier to not know any details?  Allow yourself to think about these scenarios on occasion.  It will help you to eventually take baby steps to make an actual plan.

- Talk to a trusted Pastor, Priest, Rabbi, Counselor, or friend.  Tell them your concerns and see if they might be able to help you navigate through your feelings.

- Men deal with the relinquishment of their embryos differently than women.  I have found many of you telling me that your Husbands basically don’t care if they have a say about what happens to your embryos or they would rather that they just be destroyed, because they don’t want anyone else raising them.  Yes, this is a very typical response and no doubt hard for us women to deal with.  I think the reason for this is that most men don’t really feel responsibility for a child until they are born.  They may feel some connection, but I don’t think it really hits them until they lay their eyes on a child.  Us women are wired differently and I for one felt very responsible for our embryos and wanted only the very best a mother could give them.  If you are waiting for your husband to make a move in the decision process, you may be waiting a long time.  I would also suspect that it will be you doing all the leg work!

Here were some of the deciding factors that played into our decision:

• We made a decision sooner than later, because we wanted our children and our Adopting Familie’s children to be somewhat close in age.  We didn’t want there to be a 15 year gap.  Our hope is that they would at least know of each other growing up and not be so distant is age, that they couldn’t relate to each other as children and adults.
• We personally did not want our embryos frozen any longer than they had to be.  We saw them as “souls on ice” and wanted them to have a chance at life sooner than later.
• I prayed that God would lead us to the right Adopting Family.  I prayed for this for years, because I knew we would most likely face placing our embryos for adoption.  God was faithful and lead us to the right family.
• I did a lot of research and figured out what we could live with and what we couldn’t.
• I finally let go and let God and trusted his direction

Don’t beat yourself up.  Be kind yourself, give yourself some time, and research your options when it feels right.  Even though I’m going through a rough patch right now, I know we made the right decision and there will be sunny days ahead.   

Blessings,

Sheila

Our family took a much needed min-vacation to Oregon for the 4th of July weekend.  I grew up in Oregon, so whenever I get the chance to revisit my home state, it’s such a treat.  It’s so special to me and I have many fond memories growing up there.  I was looking forward to visiting with my family and taking in the gorgeous scenery.  I knew it would bring healing to my soul and help me sort through my thoughts and feelings.

It turned out to be a wonderful time away and our kids did better than we could have hoped for.  When you have three kids four and under, you never know what kind of behavior is going to show up.  However, they traveled in the car well, slept well, and did great on our day trips.  We couldn’t have asked for more.

We went to Lake of the Woods for the fourth.  We had a traditional picnic, swam in the water, played in the sand, and my four year old caught his first fish.  He was so thrilled!  However, once he realized the fish had to die (it swallowed the hook), he was sad.  It was neat to see my Dad explain to him the cycle of life.  Seth listened intently, but was sad nonetheless. 

I was able to sit at the lake’s edge, breathe in the clean, mountain air, and take in the beautiful scenery of trees and surrounding mountains.  It was a nice reprieve from the intense feelings of loss that I’ve been experiencing.

I was recently reading through a book about grieving and realized that I had somehow forgotten the specific stages that one may go through.  The five traditional stages of grieving are:

• Denial (Took place when we were placing our embryos for adoption)
• Anger (In this stage right now)
• Bargaining (I don’t think this stage is applicable)
• Depression (I’m sure this phase will happen once the baby is born)
• Acceptance (Looking forward to this stage - will probably happen once the newness of all the events wear off)

After all, it wasn’t so long ago that I was dealing with grief while going through infertility.  I clearly remember grieving the loss of my miscarried babies and my “Dream” child that I longed to hold in my arms.

Just like when I was dealing with infertility, people tend to think I’m being overdramatic about the loss one experiences when placing their embryos for adoption and/or donation.  You ask “What loss?”  Well, it’s the loss surrounding parenting these children that God originally placed in our care.  It’s a “Mommy” thing.  It’s the drive that God places in every Mother to rear and take care of her children.  It’s not something that can be easily disconnected, like when you remove an electical cord from a socket.  It just doens’t work that way.  It’s a process of letting go, letting God, and coming to a place of peace and acceptance.  

However, some people aren’t comfortable with other people’s grief.  They would rather that people hurry through the process, so they don’t have to feel uncomfortable any longer.  It’s also hard for people to validate one’s loss, when the subject matter is one they either don’t understand or don’t agree with.  It’s easier for them to tell me to “Move on” or “Get over it, will ya?”  I even had someone tell me they were “proud of the way I was grieving.”  Really, is there a way to grieve so one will be “proud” of me?  I think it’s good to remember that grief is not something to get over, but rather, something to get through.  It takes as long as it takes, no matter how uncomfortable it may make someone else.

All-in-all, the trip really helped to get my mind off of things and for that I am very thankful.  I know that a year from now, I will be in a very different place emotionally.  But for now, I am going to allow myself to grieve.

Blessings,

Sheila

If you haven’t noticed from my recent posts, I’m going through a rough patch with the pregnancy announcement of our Adopting Parents, Todd and Jen.  I keep trying to put my finger on what exactly is bothering me, but have yet to come up with an answer.  Looking back over the course of our adoption, this has been a typical pattern for me.  When we’ve hit critical points, I initially feel like I’m doing fine, but gradually start feeling overwhelmed, unsure, and wonder endlessly.  I begin getting upset about aspects of our adoption that have hurt me and probably misplace my grief for anger.  Then my anger starts to cloud my judgment and I cycle around this for a week or two.  It’s highly annoying.

However, I do think the pattern of highs and lows that I’ve experienced, eventually lead me to settle into the “new” news.  Why on earth it happens this way, is a complete mystery to me! 

I’ve asked myself the hard questions:

1. Do I feel jealous?  Answer: “No.”  I thought I might long to be pregnant again, but quickly came to my senses that I could care less about that.  The fact that I didn’t have pain or a period last month (due to recent Hysterectomy) was so wonderful!  I’m making a conscious decision to not feel guilty about that.

2. How do I feel about the baby?  Answer: With every fiber of my being, I know this child was always meant for Todd & Jen.  I’m not feeling a particular connection or sense of loss.  I’m truly overjoyed for them.  

What is it then, Sheila?  Ugh!  I don’t know.  I guess it can be likened to shifting plates in our earth’s crust.  They move and shift and then settle into a new place.  That’s where I’m at.  I’m trying to shift into a new place, based on a new experience.  When their baby is born, I have no doubt I’ll visit this again.

It also doesn’t help that I’m saturated in Embryo Adoption/Donation.  I write this blog, do a lot of research, and a portion of my day is spent thinking about it.  So, that combined with the recent news, was a bit more than I could handle.

If you find that you’re experiencing highs and lows in the adoption and/or donation of your embryos; rest assured it’s normal.

Blessings,

Sheila

P.S. Thanks to Maria, Megan, Jen, Kat, C, and Kim for talking to me during this rough time.  Your understanding and support, means the world to me. 

I don’t know.  I’m not sure.  I’m still trying to figure that out.

As a Genetic Mom, I don’t know where it is I fit in.  I feel like an important part of the mix, but then again, I’m not.  I’m required to view everything from a great distance, because I pose a potential threat.  I walk on eggshells.  I’m in constant fear of saying the wrong thing.  It’s hard to liken it to anything in life and I find myself not knowing what to do with myself or my thoughts.  When information is given to me with regard to our adoption, I typically think about it for days/weeks on end and sometimes wonder endlessly….and for what?  I want to find a place of peace that I can settle into, for my own mental health.  I don’t want to be overwhelmed with the information given to me and wonder if it will ever just roll off my back?  I want to feel “somewhat” comfortable, but have no idea how to get there.

So, I began racking my brain, trying to think of a situation in life that can be likened to someone like me; a Genetic Mom.  However, I wasn’t able to come up with anything good; something that really nails it on the head (let me know if you do!). 

For instance, when I was going through infertility, somebody told me “You get about as much sympathy as a 100 pound woman attending a Weight Watchers Meeting.”  I also remember hearing “Infertility can be likened to having a loved one missing in action; there’s simultaneous grief and hope.”  How true is that!  I wish I had a little phrase to relate to and be able to share with others, so they get what it is we as Genetic Parents go through.  I’ll let you know when I come up with something.

So, even after writing this, my answer is still “I don’t know!”  I do long to get to a point where I wiggle less is my own skin with this new role and find that place where I can just “be.”  I think it will happen….I just need to give it some more time. 

Blessings,

Sheila

It’s been less than two weeks since my Hysterectomy, and I have to say I’m feeling pretty fabulous!  I honestly didn’t know what to expect and I suppose I was preparing myself for the worst.  However, the Medical Community has really got their groove on when it comes to performing this surgery, because I felt practically 95% normal by day 5/6.  What a blessing!

One aspect of my hospital stay that I wasn’t prepared for, was being placed in the Postpartum Unit for my recovery.  I suppose it made sense, since I had undergone a gynecological procedure, but was unprepared mentally, nonetheless.  It seemed a bit cruel (unbeknownst to anyone), given the fact that my hysterectomy was taking place the same week our Adopting Family underwent a frozen transfer.  I didn’t want the environment that I had to spend time recovering in to be 24/7 newborn city.  After all, I just had the ultimate fertility organ removed from my body.  Was it really necessary to be reminded that I could no longer do what every other woman on that floor could?  Couldn’t I just shack up in the same room with an elderly gentleman who had just gotten his Gallbladder taken out?   What about the broom closet, was it available?  It sure looked better than having to endure emotional pain on top of physical pain.

Then it happened.  I could hear the cries of a sweet newborn next door to us.  Sigh.  I thought “So this is what I’m going to have to listen to, great!”  I had to recover in a unit with no newborn baby, no isolette, no sweet, little white t-shirts that contain the smell that only a newborn can emit, no newborn diapers, no breastfeeding, and no visitors to come and see our sweet bundle of joy.  I just laid there and took in the very distinct noises of a Mom, Dad, and their newborn baby.  It felt a bit like I was experiencing infertility all over again, and in my book, no one should have to endure such a thing twice in their lifetime.

Later that night, I was finally allowed to take a walk in the hallway.  I was so excited to get out of that hard bed, but took a deep breath before I exited my room’s door, as I knew what scenery I would be taking in.  So, my sweet husband took my hand and we began to walk.  As we got around the corner, we realized we were in the same unit where we had delivered our girls and son.  It was a bit surreal.  The memories of my own children as newborns began to come flooding in.  It made me realize how quickly, in the snap of a finger, that that phase of their life goes by.  If you’ve ever seen a movie where they show a person’s entire life experiences quickly passing by in a matter of seconds, that’s how I felt in that moment.

As we continued to stroll, I reluctantly began to reminisce about our previous stay.  We saw the scale I weighed myself on one day after delivering our girls, a hospital grade breast pump, clean isolette’s made up for the new babies coming into the unit, baby diapers, a proud Daddy getting his baby from the nursery, and a Mother walking for the first time since she had her c-section.  I felt overwhelmed and out of place and the tears just started to come.  Instead of fighting back the tears, which is my normal response, I let them come as they may and made a decision to embrace that moment. 

I won’t lie - I wanted to be mad.  I wanted to demand to be placed into a regular recovery room where I didn’t have to be reminded of a newborn phase that I would never experience again.  But then it dawned on me…..”This is a gift, Sheila.”  I thought “Wait a minute, a gift?”  Surely that thought had not just crossed my mind.  Was having all this baby stuff shoved down my throat really a gift?  I reckoned it to the times I had to endure baby showers whilst dealing with infertility.  Surely I had not just thought of the word “GIFT!”  Then I realized that yes, this was a gift and I needed to embrace it.  There would never be another time in my life where I would get to personally experience and embrace this floor again.  I had the chance to freely walk about and take in a place where my husband and I had received so much joy. 

And, so I did.  I walked around those halls with a renewed attitude and tried to memorize little bits and pieces that I couldn’t have possibly remembered before, due to the exhaustion of having two, little ones.  Yes, I took it all in.  God knew I needed this and I feel he orchestrated my stay in the hospital this very way, so I could have one more chance.  I can’t fully explain what it did for me, but it felt like a piece of validation in a journey where there is little to be had.  I was merited one more chance to take in something that I once took for granted……something I would never experience again.  It felt amazing.

Right before I left, there was a tiny, newborn girl who was hanging out in the nurses station, as I passed by.  I asked if I could take a quick peak.  She looked so sweet with her little button nose and then I realized from her birth tag that she weighed the same as our Brookie……6 pounds & 13 ounces.  I took her presence in for a moment and marveled at her.  It was all I needed.  Before I left her side, I took a deep breath in and felt as though I had been touched by the hand of God and realized that he cared about all the pain I had endured for the last year and a half.

The gift that I first mistook for a curse, turned out to be the biggst blessing of all and much healing took place in the short 32 hours I was there.  It dawned on me that I was there for more than just a hysterectomy.  I was there to get over one more painful hurdle and impediment in my journey with Embryo Adoption.  Above all else, I came to realize that I was there in that very moment to receive CLOSURE.  My husband and I intentionally shut the door on our ability to ever experience a pregnancy, a precious newborn, and all that goes with those very sweet moments in life that cannot be compared to any other.  Yes, closure is what I needed and closure is exactly what I willingly received.

If you’re faced with a hurdle to overcome in your own journey, I pray you have the strength and resiliance to climb over it and get on the other side.  What’s on the other side you ask?  Peace and a sense that everything’s going to be alright.  Closure.

Blessings,

Sheila

Our journey with Embryo Adoption has been fairly isolating, thus far.  There’s no book I can pick up, no blog I can read, no person I can call, no on-line forum to join, and no useful information to be found on the internet for Genetic Families.  What little information I have come across only covers the positive side to placing your embryos for adoption/donation, but I have yet to find something that digs into those very private and deep emotions that one does experience when thinking of relinquishing their embryos.    

For the most part, Genetic Families tend to their own wounds and  keep their emotions to themselves.  This has been difficult for me, because I would process my emotions better if I had someone to relate to and share with.  I suspect most Genetic Families, particularly Moms, struggle with the emotional aspects of a frozen transfer, pregnancy announcement or birth announcement.  Even if they choose not to talk with anyone or make a decision to ignore their feelings, I know there’s an underlying sting they must feel.  I personally believe those feelings need to be voiced and validated by someone who understands.

Anytime our Adopting Family has undergone a frozen transfer or announced a pregnancy, I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions.  I’m always genuinely happy for them and happy for their babies; no question about it.  However, as hard as I try to escape grieving; I’m eventually overcome with feelings of sadness and loss.  Over the last year, I’ve learned to cope better by completely separating my happy feelings for our Adopting Family vs. my own personal emotions that encompass our loss.  It has really helped, because I found those two facets of our adoption can not co-exist in my mind simultaneously.  I guess you could say I compartmentalize the emotions I feel, in order to fairly deal with the true joy I feel for Todd and Jen vs. the sadness and loss I feel for Beau and I.  I know it sounds very odd, but has somehow come to work for me. 

I hope in the years ahead, as Embryo Adoption and/or Donation evolves, that there will be more outlets for Genetic families to deal with their emotions in a safe way.  It’s unacceptable to me that one has to suffer needlessly with feelings that very easily could be heard and validated by someone that understands and cares.

I have found that if you properly take care of your feelings surrounding the adoption and/or donation, you’ll come out on the other end in a much better place.

Blessings,

Sheila